A Radical Exploration of Human Sexuality
This was required reading during my coaching training—and I’ll admit, a challenging book I’ve tackled. It confronted every layer of my social conditioning around sexuality. There were moments I felt triggered, moments I paused—but also moments I was completely fascinated by the evolutionary and cultural perspectives it presented.
The book challenged me to rethink what I thought I knew: that human sexuality was always governed by monogamy or religious morality. Instead, the authors propose that early humans in tribal communities lived with much more fluid, open, and intimate sexual connections—interwoven with natural rhythms, communal living, and body cycles synced to the earth.
Reading about how modern culture suppresses sexuality—often violently—made me reflect on how drastically disconnected we are from natural rhythms and our bodies today. It also pushed me to question who shaped modern sexual narratives—and why.
Even though the book didn’t address this directly, I found myself reflecting on the influence of Western psychological theories—particularly Freud—and wondering how differently we might approach intimacy if thinkers like Alfred Adler, who focused on relationship and empowerment, had shaped the dominant narrative. That thread emerged for me in the background as a personal curiosity sparked by the reading.
Despite the discomfort, I’m grateful for Sex at Dawn. It expanded my thinking and opened questions I didn’t even know I needed to ask.
About the Book
Sex at Dawn explores the provocative premise that early humans lived in hunter-gatherer communities where sexual life was communal, non-monogamous, and deeply relational. It argues that the Western model of monogamy, sexual jealousy, and rigid norms largely stems from Victorian-era morality and misapplied evolutionary ideas about sex roles.
The authors combine anthropology, evolutionary biology, and psychology to challenge our deeply held assumptions about intimacy, power, and pleasure. They suggest that many social constraints on sexuality are cultural inventions—and that sexuality was once a source of connection, healing, and social cohesion.
Key Themes
Evolutionary roots of human sexuality
Misalignment between prehistoric norms and modern constructs
Sex, jealousy, and monogamy as cultural inventions
Suppression of female sexuality throughout history
The importance of understanding sexuality through an anthropological lens
Modern challenges: youth, consent, social media, and shame
Human sexuality as a pathway for both freedom and healing
Reflection Questions for Book Club
What was your reaction to the idea that early human sexuality was communal and non-monogamous?
Did the book challenge any sexual myths or assumptions you hold?
How did the evolutionary insights provided inform or shift your perspective on gender differences in sexuality?
What role did Victorian and Darwinian thinking play in shaping modern attitudes, according to the authors?
How do ideas about menstrual cycles synced with moon phases or communal rhythms resonate with your own experience or spirituality?
How does this book relate to ongoing conversations about consent, shame, and power in modern sexuality?
What new questions or curiosities did the book spark for you?
Do you recognize any of the models of intimacy described in your own life or relationships?
In what ways does the book encourage more compassionate and open-minded approaches to sexuality and intimacy?
After reading Sex at Dawn, what shifts—if any—do you feel inspired to make in your thinking or behavior around intimacy?
Sex at Dawn isn’t an easy read—but it is a powerful challenge to look deeper at the stories we’ve inherited about love, sex, and human connection. Whether you agree with its conclusions or not, it opens space for curiosity—and invites a compassionate rethinking of how we live and love.
I look forward to exploring these themes together, and hearing your reflections in kindness and curiosity.